Email, texting, being important

Email, texting,
etc.:
The Importance
of being Important

Email, texting,
on the cell
phone, constant
yammering,

urgent addiction
to emails, checking
it every ten minutes,

as if something
important was
there, life threatening,

an urgent call
from a girl-friend
while you’re on
a date.

your date takes
out his cell phone
and suddenly
you’re at the
dinner table

can we admit
most of it is
very silly
nonsense?

And for me
this very
famous
person, in
my own
mind,

no, I’m
not as
important
as I think
I am.

Are you
as important
as you
think you
are?

Portrait of you

My lover died

yesterday. I had

time with him

alone, before the

nurses, doctors,

and other well

meaning people

came.

I caressed his

hair and combed

it one last time.

A few strands

fell off in the

comb and I

kept those.

I wore a faint

touch of lipstick

and kissed his

lips one last

time. I placed

a kiss on this

canvas. As

many as the

memory of

our loving

could hold.

I ran my finger

under his armpits,

I smelled it and

it was too clean

but it had his

scent on it and

I placed it on

this canvas.

I kissed and

held his cock

in my mouth

one last time.

I know he has

AIDS and I

do not, but for

the memory

of all of our

loving, the

laughter, joy

and for the

years we

would never

have.

I then kissed

this canvas

again, the saliva,

perhaps filled

with AIDS …

or

was the disease

at last

redeemed with love?

Was the disease

blessed with our

final loving?

From those arms

once so strong

who held me

I drew tubes of

blood, as much

as his still veins

would offer.

On this canvas

I have written

this poem with

his blood and

as I write it,

the tears run

down my cheeks

without fear

or shame.

His blood dried

quickly and

I couldn’t finish

and drew blood

from my veins.

This canvas

torn from our

soul, a fragment

of our journey

interrupted, but

a memory of

love

complete

RAFA: King of Pain

The King of Pain

Sweet boyish face smiles

in victory after victory.

In the middle of the match

he skips back to play

like a little boy in a school yard,

but this is where the boyishness

ends and the king of pain

takes over. He is like some

cartoon figure that turns himself

into the monstrous hulk…

the scowl returns, the eyes

narrow like an animal on

the hunt, and the bulging

biceps and muscles grow

with each point.

But what kind of

animal is this

…moves like a gazelle,

ferocity of a wolverine,

the grace of a hummingbird,

the persistence of a bull

and the cunning of a crow?

This animal can be no

other than Rafa raised

on the red clay of Majorca

and now stalking the

tennis courts of the world

with ferocity and grace,

inflicting pain and dashing

hopes of those who fall

before him.

Though at the end when

the battle is over

the boyish smile returns,

and with the grace

of a champion he acknowledges

his foes…

but there is no mercy

when Rafa takes the court

as he is the King of Pain.

I will Miss Heaven: An Atheist's Soliloquy

we laid in the garden,

my lover and I, she

amongst the clouds

and blues of the sky,

I in our garden of

red and white poppies.

One day there will be

no poems and all

my intimacies

with god will be tender

recollections of love,

poignant memories of

desire and ashes.

Though an atheist by

necessity, I have loved

you with an ardor and

reverence that not

even the Pope could

imagine or aspire to.

A blade of grass is

as inspired as a steeple.

God and I have been

tempestuous lovers,

rousing arguments,

but mostly they were

arguments with

myself.

I kicked open the

door to your boudoir,

with muddy boots,

ripped aside the

curtains, but you

were filing your

fingernails gazing

at the astral blue

clarity of the sky.

Two eunuchs stood

guard at the door,

Desire and Gnosis.

Perhaps a

a ménage a quatre?

The shimmy shake

with Gnosis, Desire,

et toi – mi amor?

I longed to lie in

the nesting chambered

nautilus of lovers,

but knowing and loving

only begins in the

surrender to love.

In this I failed, again

and again, and

chained myself to the

wheel of expectation.

There is no freedom

in love or desire, but

in my quest for

intimacy with you,

dios de mi amor,

I’ve found the

redemption of our

private secret loving.

…in the garden,

my lover and I.